Journal

Let’s pretend you’re an astronaut flying to the moon. Pretty awesome. You’re sitting there in the chair, with your spaceman suit on,  and you’re out of your mind excited to be launching into space. Naturally. The countdown begins, the thrusters roar,  and the G forces pin you to your seat as you wet your pants while obscene levels of adrenaline course through your veins. The cabin violently shudders and shakes as you rip through the atmosphere at ungodly speeds creating so much pressure you feel like your skin is going to peel off of your body.

And just when you think the whole shuttle is going to explode,  everything stops. Gravity is gone.  You’re weightless.  Floating. So you go through your checks and procedures and what not,  and you phone into Houston to let them know that you’re on course to the moon.
“Things are looking good up here Command.  We are on course, over?”
“Um…negative Apollo. We’ve changed your coordinates. Over?”
“Sorry, what? Over?”
“Yeah, this is Houston.  We’ve…uh…decided to send you to the sun. Copy?”
“Exqueeze me? Baking powder?”
“Yeah, Apollo.  We’ve got a new destination for you and we’re taking over controls. You’re going to the sun whether you like it or not. Over?”
“Uh…..... but….... you…..... AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

Now I want you to visualize what a space shuttle would look like flying into the sun. Disturbing huh?  In this last journal entry, I’d really like to try to tackle one of the most difficult questions I’ve ever had to answer. (Wow, that sounds intimidating doesn’t it?) I grew up in Christian school and church and what have you,  and over and over and over again I’ve heard the incredible news that Jesus can save you. He can save you from hell and condemnation, because you’re a sinner and you’re going to hell. But the problem was, I never really understood why.  Why do I have to go to hell? And for that matter, why does hell even exist? I mean, if God is so loving and merciful like everyone insists, then what’s the big deal with my sin? Trust me, I get that I’m a sinner, no one has to convince me of that, but why can’t He just look down on me and say, “you’re forgiven?” Wouldn’t that make this whole thing a lot less confusing? Wouldn’t that have saved a whole lot of unnecessary bleeding and dying for Christ? If God is love, then just love people right? Why all this talk about hell and wrath and judgement? Doesn’t it sound like God is contradicting himself?  And you know, a lot of churches and ministries or whatever you want to call them have done exactly that.  They don’t really know how to explain the situation,  they haven’t figured out a way to reconcile the love and wrath of God, so sadly, they just dismiss the whole hell topic altogether.  Believe me, I know from personal experience.

One time, our band was silenced and asked to never come back to a camp just for bringing it up! Right during the middle of this song, “Hallelujah,” the screens started flashing, “Go immediately to your small groups!” So all the kids turned around and walked out, in the middle of the song! Shame too, because they missed the bridge, which is my favorite part. Later we asked the leadership why they told the kids to leave, and they said, “You were over your time.  And for the record, we hired the speakers to speak, and the band to play.  So please don’t speak any more in between the songs.” Well, we dug a little deeper and found the real issue wasn’t that I was talking,  it was what I was saying. I was talking about the wrath of God.  Now obviously, I know that this subject can be really touchy for people, it can make us feel a little squeamish just mentioning it. But we must be careful not to shy away from topics in the Bible that make us uncomfortable, or that are difficult to understand.  We must have child like faith, not childish faith, and the Bible is their to correct us, not for us to correct it. So we must come humbly to it, because, whether we know it or not, we all bring certain cultural prejudices to the table every time we open it.

For instance, talking about a God of wrath is extremely unpopular in the west, but is cherished in the east. In western thought, we like our “Shack” God just fine.  We like the idea of a buddy God who’s waiting to cuddle with us whenever we need some cheering up.  We like God to coddle us and cater to us and remind us how awesome we are.  We embrace mercy and forgiveness, at least, when it refers to what God should show us anyway,  but we start getting really bent out of shape when judgement is spoken of. However, in eastern cultures, a God of wrath is celebrated, while a God of mercy is offensive. A God who forgives is considered weak and downright despicable,  but we don’t like to think about that very often do we? We just think that other cultures are crazy and archaic and just need the enlightenment that our culture can bring. But if you think that way, it only proves how influenced you are by your own upbringing. And you know, if God is not man-made,  then wouldn’t you expect him to offend every man-made culture on some level? And so he does.  He offends the West with his wrath, and the East with his grace.  Is this freaking you out yet? Are you pumping your fist in anger or in agreement? Well, maybe it shouldn’t be either.

Let me explain.  Remember the astronauts? This is a feeble attempt to help us understand why we need saving. It’s not a question we ask often enough I think. Yeah, yeah, we’re all sinners, but that doesn’t help us understand why Christ had to die. If God wasn’t just, He didn’t have to go to all that trouble. He could have just looked down and said, “I love you.  Come on up to the party.” In other words, if there is no judgement and all grace with God, then Jesus died for nothing. You see, Isaiah 33:14 describes God like this, “the sinners in Zion are afraid; trembling has seized the godless: “who among us can dwell with the consuming fire? Who among us can dwell with everlasting burnings?”  Not the common perception of God in most churches today is it? But it helps us see that the first thing we must understand is that our problem is not so much that we’re so bad, it’s that God is so glorious. In Revelation, when Jesus comes back, it says that He’s going to have eyes that blaze like fire, a voice like mighty oceans, and He’ll be holding stars in his hand!  Stars! The sun is one star.  He’s going to have seven in his hand! And it goes on to say that people are going to be freaking out running away from Him! What? Yeah, it says that there will be two groups of people in the end. One group will be running for their lives, terrified, and diving into caves while begging for the rocks to crush them so they won’t have to stand before Jesus, while another group is going to just stand before the throne of God singing praises! Crazy huh? One group is scared out of their mind by God, while the other group is wanting more of Him! And what are they singing you might ask? “Hallelujah for the blood of the lamb that was slain.”  If you can keep that spaceman analogy in your head a little longer, you’ll see that if we’re all astronauts flying to the sun, there is no hope of survival. It won’t matter if you’re the best, most talented astronaut on the ship, and it won’t matter if you huddle in the corner and cry,  “I don’t believe in the sun! So this won’t affect me!” If the whole world is on a trajectory toward an encounter with the sun someday, Then either the sun will have to stop being the sun or something or someone will have to get in between us and its brilliance.

Enter Christ. By the shedding of His blood, He has made a way for us to come to God, without changing who God is. He has come in between the fury of the sun, and the depth of our depravity.  The cross comes between the holiness of God and the unholiness of the astronauts on their way to meet Him. In “The Knowledge of the Holy,” A.W. Tozer says it this way, “We must hide our unholiness in the wounds of Christ as Moses hid himself in the cleft of the rock while the glory of the Lord passed by. (Exodus 33:21-23) We must take refuge from God in God.” In other words, the cross casts a shade of mercy for those who believe. It creates a super suit, if you will, made from his blood that enables us to not only withstand the holiness of God, but actually draw near and behold it. Could you imagine? What wonders would NASA report back to earth if they could stand before the sun without being consumed? And what wonders will we sing of when we gaze on God in all his beauty?  Now, I know that doesn’t help us understand everything about the wrath of God, but I do think it’s a good start. Tozer also said that whatever comes into your mind when you think of God, is the most important thing about you, and I agree. We must seek to understand who God has proclaimed Himself to be, and try not to make Him into what we would like Him to be. God is love, but love is not God.  Love is not all that God is. He’s terribly more complex then we’d like Him to be, and He’s considerably more terrifying than today’s culture would like to make Him.

Consider C.S. Lewis’ analogy of God in Aslan: “Safe?...Who said anything about safe? Course he isn’t safe.  But he’s good.”  So read for yourself what God says about His own wrath, and I think it will encourage you. Check out Ezekiel 33:11 with me, “Say to them, as I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live, turn back, turn back, from your evil ways, for why will you die O house of Israel?”  Or how about Lamentations 3:32,33? “But though he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men.”  The good news about the wrath of God is that it breaks his heart. Which means, if we have a hard time believing it, if we have a hard time accepting it, then that means we have a God-like view of it. People who revel in and rejoice in the wrath of God without contemplating the ache of sorrow of Christ in it, do not agree with God. Jesus himself even raised his arms to Jerusalem and lamented at how He longed to bring sinners to himself like a mother hen with her chicks.  God’s judgement breaks his heart as does our sin, but this actually gives us great hope in his love. Because, quite frankly, if God didn’t hate sin, if He didn’t hate the cancer that’s eating away at all of us, We would have to question his goodness. A parent who never disciplines their child is not a loving parent, and a God who looks idly on as rape, murder, and all the atrocities of humanity rage on, is not a loving God either. To be love, He must hate evil. And you know, if God wasn’t going to repay all the evil in the world someday, then it would be nearly impossible for me to not try to distribute vengeance myself.

Do you see what I’m saying here? Tim Keller, in his book ‘Reason for God’ quotes Miroslav Volf in his chapter on the wrath of God.  He helped me understand this point, specifically, that if I believe in a God of non-violence, then that will actually make me more violent.  Because of the sense of justice that God has put in us,  we are angry at evil.  Necessarily so. And if there is no judgement coming, then how will we keep from avenging sin ourselves? But, because of Christ, I can trust that justice will be paid.  Either on the sinner, or on Jesus for the sinner.  I no longer have to take matters into my own hands. I can forgive, and rest in the justice of God.  You see, nothing demonstrates the love of God like the wrath of God. It breaks his heart, but He cannot stop being who He is. The holiness of God pushes astronaut sinners like us away, but the holiness of the blood of Christ covers us and brings us back in. Or to quote John Piper, “the wisdom of God, has ordained a way for the love of God to deliver us from the wrath of God without compromising the justice of God.” I hope this helps.  I know I’m still struggling with all of this too.

“Satisfy me in the morning with your unfailing love.” -Psalm 90:14
Satisfaction. We want it. We run after it.  And yet, somehow it always seems to elude us. What’s our problem? What went wrong? I mean, we buy what the commercials tell us to buy. We’re caught up on Lost and American Idol. We see all the movies our friends tell us will change our lives. We flip through the magazines, we buy all the right clothes, listen to all the right music, we’ve got over a thousand friends on facebook, twitter, and a girlfriend/boyfriend who must be perfect because we met them on match.com, and yet, somehow that old nagging feeling just won’t go away.  Why is that? Why did the Rolling Stones sing, “I can’t get no satisfaction?” Why did Brittany go crazy? Why did Tiger go running around with all those women? And why, if we’re honest, are we still tempted to do the very things we hate?  Well, by no means do I think I can cure that unquenchable longing in our hearts with a simple journal entry, but I do think I might be able to shed some light on the subject.

First and foremost, we have to come to terms with the fact that we’re not home yet.  I mean, do we know that?  Do we consider that when the tv tells us what we need? Do we think about that when we start going down that road for pleasure that we swore we’d never get on? C.S. Lewis said, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”  Sometimes, I think we put way too much stock into this world. We have these amazing moments, we experience these unbelievable foretastes of glory, and so we think, “This is it!  This is what I’ve been waiting for!” This game, this music, this romance, etc. We make the mistake of deifying the good things God has given us to enjoy, and end up doing terrible things for pleasure that we never thought we’d do.  To quote Tim Keller, “We make the good things ultimate things,” and the irony is, that’s when we can’t really enjoy them at all.

This is a silly example but let’s say you eat a bowl of ice cream at dinner tonight, and it’s bar none, the most exquisite edible delight you’ve ever tasted. We’ll you’re now faced with two options,  you can either simply thank God for the wonderful gift of dessert and go on with your day, or you can start to believe that this ice cream is the very thing you’ve been waiting for all your life. You think, somehow, this tasty treat will fill my soul with joy and rescue me from my discontentment. This creamy deliciousness was meant to save me from my misery.  So you then go to fantastic lengths to secure yourself a lifetime supply of it.  You buy truck loads of it, eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,  only to die a month later from clogged arteries and horrendous brain freeze.  Like I said, it’s silly, but this is in effect what we do with all sorts of things. Yeah, probably not ice cream but maybe a band, a friend, a team, a city, a tv show, a lover… We set all kinds of things and people up as our Saviour, and when they disappoint us,  we don’t know where to turn.  But here’s the deal. If we first understand that our soul is longing for far more than this world can offer then we can learn to expect and manage a certain level of discontentment in our soul, as we walk this earth. And yeah, that might sound depressing, but it’s also incredibly freeing. To quote Jon Foreman,  “It was a beautiful letdown, the day I knew, that all the riches this world had to offer me, will never do.”  You see, when your spouse or sports team or favorite food or music no longer has to be the thing that satisfies the deepest longing in your heart, you can actually enjoy them more. Suddenly, the pressure’s off.

Have you ever read the story in Genesis about Jacob and his two wives? It’s quite depressing and wonderfully relevant to what we’re thinking about here. If you haven’t read it, basically, this kid named Jacob is in trouble with his brother and father, so he runs away to his Uncle Laban. And when he gets there he falls in love with Laban’s daughter Rachel. So much so, that he makes this ridiculous offer of working seven years for her hand in marriage. Well, Laban recognizes right away that Jacob has a serious love infatuation and decides to cash in. Laban has another daughter named Leah, who’s “weak in the eyes,” which is a nice Biblical way of saying, “She was uuuugggglllllyyy!”  And so, when the time comes for Jacob to marry Rachel, Laban, knowing he’s gonna have a hard time getting a guy to buy Leah off his hands,  gives Jacob Leah instead.  And I guess there must have been a lot of veils and wine involved,  because the text says it wasn’t til the next morning that Jacob wakes up and “Behold! It was Leah!” Yeah, that’s disturbing huh? I mean, how did he not know that it was Leah? Well, we’re not exactly told, but we are shown something terribly intriguing. Later on in the story, Jacob ends up marrying Rachel too, and you see all sorts of pandemonium break loose. Jacob loves Rachel more than Leah, and so Leah starts naming her children things like, “Now my husband will see me” and crazy stuff like that. But you also see Rachel jealous of Leah because Leah can have kids and she can’t. So Rachel is giving her hand maid to Jacob to sleep with. You also see Laban running after Jacob because he wants to keep getting money from him, etc etc etc. Let’s just say, their family would make quite an entertaining Jerry Springer show.  But here’s the deal. That phrase, that one single phrase,  when Jacob wakes up after marrying the wrong sister, says so much. “And behold, it was Leah.”

You see, that isn’t just for Jacob, it’s for us. This is the disillusionment that we all live in. How could Jacob not know it was Leah? Because he was blind.  Blind by what? Desire.  Hmmmm.  Sound like anyone you know? It sounds impossible that Jacob could not have known who he was marrying, but isn’t the same for us? We think this one person, this one thing, this one job,  this one house or car or cell phone or whatever is going to finally do it.  This will satisfy. And so we spend all our money on buying, wooing, and getting that one thing we have our heart set on, and when we finally win them or buy them or whatever; what happens? “And behold it was Leah.”  I’ve always loved this David Wilcox song called, “Break in the Cup.” In the song he likens all of us to cups with cracks. Yeah yeah, ha ha, we all have cracks.  I can almost hear the middle schoolers snickering in the back. In any case, he says that we all have a crack in the cup that holds love inside us, and no matter how much we try to get other people to fill us, the crack in our cup lets the love run out. I suppose we could call the crack sin, and the cup is our heart. Well, in the bridge, after trying desperately to get his cup filled and coming up empty he sings, “we cannot trade empty for empty, we must go to the waterfall, for there’s a break in the cup that holds love, inside us all.”  Did you catch that? “We must go to the waterfall.” Sometimes, our relationships with other people are so miserable because we think they’re on this earth to make us happy.  They need to fill our cup and make us feel complete, and when they can’t, we get angry. We get upset.

But how much more could we enjoy each other if instead of trying to get them to fill us we walked with each other toward the waterfall?  Cause you know, not only do we have a crack in our cup that lets the love out, but we actually have a cup that’s too big for anyone or anything to fill. I liken it to a little grand canyon in our hearts, which yes, is ironic, because it’s a grand canyon and it’s little, but you know what I’m saying. We have this canyon inside us and it’s so big, that try as we may to throw facebook and myspace and twitter and Twilight and romance pebbles in there, it just won’t get full. Consider Augustine’s words with me for a moment. “Our hearts are made for Thee O God, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.”  Do you know that? Do you know that your heart is too big for this world? Have you rested in God as the source of your heart’s longing? Or are you still clinging to the lie that your soul is small enough to be satisfied by this world? Have you considered Moses’ prayer in Psalm 90, “Satisfy me in the morning with your unfailing love?”  I love that prayer, because it shows us that Moses knew his own heart. He knew how much joy He was made for, and He knew that if He didn’t get God to come and pour into the canyon of his heart first thing in the morning, that he would go running after pebble like substitutes.

Satisfy me in the morning!  In the morning! And then, and this is the hard part, if you don’t feel satisfied, don’t go running after substitutes. Just wait.  Sit right there, content in your discontentment, and say to God, “Alright look.  I don’t feel satisfied by you right now, but one thing I know, no matter what else I run to, it’s not gonna do it for me anyway, so I’m gonna wait for you. Teach me O Lord, to know deeply that I’m not home here,  Teach me that all this world offers, and all the good things you’ve given us to enjoy, they may be good, but they’re not the ultimate. They’re not you. Only you can satisfy.  “Taste and see the Lord is good. How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” -Psalm 34:8

So we played a show at a church tonight, and it was beautiful. God was adored, the gospel was treasured, compassion kids were sponsored. Like I said, beautiful. And it’s night like these that get me sort of weepy. I start asking God under my breath, “Why do I get to do this? You and I both know I don’t deserve it. You know I’ve got nothing to offer you that you didn’t first give to me, so what on earth Lord? Me? You sure about this?”

But it’s true. Right now we’re on the Inside and In Between Tour, and I’ve been totally amazed. Amazed at how God has kept me close to my wife over the phone, how He’s spoken through us and in spite of us, how people have come to a better understanding of the gospel, and how God has moved in hearts to initiate people to partner with Compassion in releasing children from poverty in Jesus’ name. It’s unbelievable.

And on a night like tonight this chorus seems easy. “I give you all of me, for all you are, here I am, take me apart. Take me apart.” But it’s only easy, because the most glorious thing happened tonight. I forgot about myself. I know, totally crazy. But I did. I think it might have just been for a few minutes or seconds or so, but it really did happen. For one brief shining moment, God took up my thoughts and affections and freed me from the prison of myself.

And that’s kind of what makes this prayer work. So many of us try so hard to get better, do more, change the world, and all we ever seem to do is fall flat on our back. And its sad because I feel like no one ever told us that we’ll never make it that way. It’s just not possible. The only true path to freedom is adoration. The forgetting of oneself in the awe of another is the only place we can be changed, for to change into something that we are not, we must see what it is to what we must aspire.

Or in other words, “the worth and excellency of a soul is measured by the objects of its love.” -Henry Scougal
Or in other words, “We are forms of all the things we love.” -Jars of Clay
Or in other words, “but we with unveiled faces, beholding God’s glory, are being transformed from one degree of glory to another.” -2 Corinthians 3:18
Or in other words, we become whatever we love. Love mean and sordid things and so you will be. Love God, and the most wondrous thing will happen, Scougal explains, the life of God will show up in the soul of man.

And so that’s all this song is saying. Don’t try to be better for God. Don’t try to figure out all the things you need to change, just fix your eyes on Jesus. He is your life. He is the one who saves. He is at the center of all things, and He holds all things together. And as you love Him, as you fawn over all that He is, He’ll begin to change all that you are. Or as my pastor says, “for every time you look at yourself, take ten looks at Jesus.” Don’t look at what your hands have done, look at what his have done for you. And as you fix your eyes on Jesus tonight, and on all that He is, I pray that you slowly but surely, forget about all that you are.

May the infinity of who He is , so fill your finite heart and mind that you find yourself being crammed out entirely.

The disciples must have thought Jesus was crazy. Seriously. I can only imagine their faces. So confused, so perplexed, uncomfortably glancing back and forth between each other, wondering if they had misheard, wondering if someone could help them understand. Meanwhile, you got Jesus, unnerved, unfazed, just sitting there cooly, looking them dead in the eyes, asking them to marry Him. Yes, you heard me right…marry Him. With nothing more than a cup of wine, no less, the Lamb of God was proposing. So you can imagine their confusion right? “Wait. What? Come again? Jesus, you feeling alright brotha? I mean, I don’t think that I’m exactly what you’re looking for! You want to think about what you’re saying for a minute?”

Of course, we don’t see it that way, because we’re not Jewish. But they were, and they did. See it that way, I mean. “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” We hear these words and we think Communion, Eucharist, Last Supper. The disciples heard this and they’re thinking wedding bells.

Apparently, “In those days,” when a Hebrew man decided to take for Himself a Hebrew woman, he’d go to his father and say, “Her, Dad. I want to make little rabbis with her.” So then the dad would go to her dad and they’d talk camels, or sheep, or whatever the payment was going to be, and after they’d settled on a figure, the groom would call in all his friends and family, set a table in the middle of a room, set the aforementioned girl down in front of said table, break out a cup, fill it with wine, and set it in front of her saying, “This is my covenant with you, take and drink it.” And if she did, that was her answer. With a simple gulp and swig, she was saying, “I do,” and that was it. No rings, no fancy songs or dinners, just a cup and an invitation. And oh yeah, all their relatives sitting in the room watching. I mean, talk about pressure. But yeah, that was it. Her lips to the glass was the same as saying, “I accept your life, and I give you mine in return.”

Now, If the girl said yes, “in those days,” she would then go immediately back to her home, where she would be known as, “one who was bought with a price.” It’s true. That was her name. Kind of long and tedious, and extremely hard to shout out in a game of soccer, but that was it. And with her new identity, she would go back to her town, and start preparing for the wedding. And really, she’d just start waiting for future husband to finish what he had to do and come and get her. What was he doing? Well, during the engagement, the groom’s primary responsibility was to build a mansion for him and his bride to be.

Now girls, before you get too excited, let me explain. “Mansion” in Hebrew means, “apartment.” And what’s even better is that this apartment was actually more like an addition, because the groom would build it onto his parents pre-existing house. Yes. You heard me correctly. Their first home would be with the in-laws. And right now, I can just imagine how many girls are thinking, “oh please don’t let me marry a Jewish boy.” It’s true though. He would build his “mansion” onto the family “insula,” which is what they would call the family dwelling. You see, the entire family would just keep building on and building on until you had what was basically a city block, all comprised of one big bustling Jewish family. (And you thought My Big Fat Greek Wedding was bad) Crazy, but also true.

Well, as you can imagine, this process could take quite a while. I mean, it’s a house for crying out loud. Some scholars say it was six months, or even a year before the poor guy was finished. And get this, the only one who could decide if it was finished was the father. So he’d be working and working and working, and every day looking to his dad, saying, “Are we done yet?” And I can just imagine the father messing with him. Taking his time, looking it over, and then just saying, “Almost.” Could you imagine? Oh, the agony! And to top it all off, the groom and the bride weren’t even allowed to talk to each other. Nothing. Nada. Zip. They couldn’t see or speak to one another during the entire engagement, except for one outlet. The best man. He’d be the instant messenger if you will. Taking notes back and forth between the doting couple. And those moments were probably pretty funny. “Here’s your note, ‘one who was bought with a price.’ Check yes, no, or maybe.” Unbelievable.

But you know, how much more beautiful would that day be when the father finally approved? That day when the groom was finally finished, and he could gather up his homeboys, or ‘groomsmen’ as we westerners would say, and imperiously march into his fiance’s town? Oh it was sweet. And that’s just what he’d do. He’d get his bridal party together and they’d come to her house, and without any prior announcement or advanced warning, they would blow a shofar, which was a ram’s horn that served as a trumpet, and upon hearing it, the pining bride would come bustling out her front door and practically straight down the aisle, and into her beloved’s arms. The period of waiting and wanting would be over, and the two would be united at last to consummate their long-awaited union. Joy. Happiness. Little Rabbis… You know, all the good stuff.

So then, back to the dinner table with the 12. Can you sense where this is going? Jesus breaks into this marriage proposal, cup out, wine-filled, offering his covenant with them. They accept. “I do” to Jesus. Gulp, gulp. “I accept your life, and I give you mine in return.” So then, what does Jesus do? He explains how they have to spend some time apart. Naturally. Only this is going to be longer than a year. However, the best man was coming. His name? The Holy Spirit. So when Jesus leaves, off to get busy preparing a “mansion” for them, (“in my Father’s house there are many rooms”) He doesn’t leave them alone, but instead sends His own mediator, the Holy Spirit, to keep the messages going between Himself and his Beloved. Meanwhile, the bride is left behind in her town, keeping watch, day and night, not knowing the day, time or hour that the bridegroom will appear. Until finally, after a long-awaited return, and we’re talking seriously, long awaited; centuries and milleniums waited people, after this much awaited consummation, the Father alone will announce that the time has come, and Jesus will be coming back for all His faithful, all who are His bride. With a posse of angels and loud trumpet call of their own, He will take us home, to the marriage supper of the Lamb! And we will share in ever-increasing joy and intimacy with Him forever and ever. As C.S. Lewis so brilliantly articulated, “Further up and further in!”

And people still want to insist that Christianity is no more than a religion.

I don’t know about you but in light of this information, it puts Jesus in an entirely different light. He’s no longer an ideal, or a belief system. He’s a person. And to put it more precisely, He is a groom in love with his bride. And not just any bride, but a wayward, adulterous bride. A bride who is half-hearted at best, chasing other lovers and other interests more than Him. And still, He keeps on loving. He keeps on being faithful, He keeps his promises.

In the Old Testament, He tells his prophet Hosea to marry an unfaithful woman, to show everyone the way He loves his people. (see Hosea 3) In the New, He tells us that divorce will never be an option for Him. (Phil 1:6) Over and over and over again, From Isaiah, to Ezekiel, to Ephesians, He tells us that we are not just his children, but we are his bride. Faithless though we might be, we are His, and He is ours.

And like I said before, this changes everything. It changes the way I view prayer. It changes the way I view marriage. It even changes the reasons that I obey. As Donald Miller once said, “it’s a far different thing to break a rule, than it is to cheat on a lover.” I only pray that it changes things for you.

Two things the Lord has told us;
that He is strong, and He is loving.

And I am living proof.

It’s Saturday afternoon and I’ve just sat down at a local coffee shop with my wife.
Well, it’s actually a coffee shop/restaurant called Fido, and since she
used to work here, it’s a natural choice for spending a soggy Saturday in Nashville.
At the moment, she’s enjoying a BLT and I’m about to destroy
an exquisite succulent pumpkin chocolate chip pastry, known as the PC muffin,
because we’re at Fido, and that’s what you do when you’re at Fido.
And don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. It’s…amazing.

But before I rip into said muffin, I wanted to sit down and actually breathe for
just a few minutes. That’s it. Just breathe. In, out, in, out.
Funny how that’s something I have to take time to do lately.
As if reflection and prayer were not things that come naturally, but things
that must be sought after. Like working to rest, or fighting to take thoughts captive.
Hmmm. I think there’s something to that.

In any case, today, as I sit and listen to my breathing, I’m in awe of two simple things.
God is strong, and God is merciful.
I know I know. Simple stuff. Kindergarten felt board Sunday school kind of stuff,
but for me, it’s just now becoming a reality.
You see, my wife is pregnant. We’re going to have a baby girl,
and I have never been more profoundly aware of the fact that
I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
I really don’t. I mean, I’m sure I put a good front, and seem very composed at times,
but deep down, I really am absolutely clueless. To quote Foreman,
I’m an “amateur lover, with amateur friends. We don’t know what we’re doing,
let’s do it again.”
I have no idea how to communicate with females in general,
let alone raise one of my own.
And on top of that, I’m in this band, and we’re on the road all the time, and I honestly
don’t know how to balance a marriage and a baby and a band and buy a house and do
my taxes and give to the poor….etc, etc.

But what I do know is that God is strong, and that He is loving. (Psalm 62:11-12)
And that simple quiet assurance might just be all I ever need,
especially if I take my own life into consideration.
You see, I know me. I know the desires, and the thoughts,
and the passions that no one else sees.
I see the pride that never dies and I can feel the dark blood that pulses in my veins.
If you only knew what really goes on in my head, you probably wouldn’t even
want to be my friend, let alone hear what I have to say.
And so, it is an absolute mystery that God would be good to me.
That He would carry me through my own confusion,
deceitfulness and sin and bring me to a place where I’m married,
healthy, and pregnant is quite possibly more than I can handle,
and absolutely, more than I can understand.

But these two words help me.

Powerful.
Loving.

God is not loving toward me, because I have deserved it.
He is loving to me, because Christ deserved it for me.
He isn’t good to any of us, because we’re really good at
saying our prayers and really good at loving other people.
He isn’t faithful to us, because we’re faithful to Him.
He loves us, because that’s who He is.
He is faithful to us, because He cannot deny Himself.
That’s who He is.
That’s what He’s about.
And it’s that knowledge that begins to change us.
It’s changing me.
It’s only that knowledge that will allow us to love Him back
in the way that He desires.
“We love because He first loved us.”
As my pastor likes to say,
“Don’t show me a church that loves God and loves people,
show me a church that believes they’re loved,
and I’ll show you a church that God is using.”

And really, that’s the whole message of this song.
The message is that you’ll never be changed by the love of God
until you’re completely honest
with yourself and how undeserving you are of it.
Only when we try to love God will we see our utter inability to do so.
And only when we understand that inability,
will we begin to be in awe of his great love toward us.
In other words, to be a Christian is to live a life of response.

You see, it’s just not that big a deal, if God only loved the people that loved Him.
It’d be nothing supernatural at all for God to merely be good
to those who are good to Him.
Isn’t that what Jesus said?
“you love those who love you, but what profit is that to you?
Even the pagans do that!”
And so this is the mystery.
“God proves His love in this, that while we were still sinners, He died for us.”
And so, that should assure you greatly from your fears today.
Even though you’re a sinner, Christ loves you.
And if you’re really proud of how good you are, this should humble you.
You’re so bad Christ had to die for you.
His love is over and underneath.
Higher than the heights of our purity,
and lower than the depths of our depravity.
And not one of us are without our need of Him.

And so, with this in mind, sitting at this coffee shop today,
I’ll agree with Paul in Philippians 1:6,
“And I’m sure of this, that He who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
Powerful.
Loving.
Over.
Underneath.
Inside.
In Between.