Journal

“and taking him aside from the crowd, privately…”
-Mark 7:33a

I wonder why it took me so long to get this.

I mean, I grew up in Christian school, I went to church every Sunday,
I stayed away from smoking and drinking,
and yet, for the first twenty some odd years of my life,
I managed to miss the point entirely.

Him.

Rules.
Regulations.
Obedience.
I got those down just fine,
but somehow I missed the “why” behind it all.

Him.

I’m not quite sure why I was so blind for so long,
and I’m not really sure why its still so hard for me to remember,
but I do when the sunlight started to shine through.
It was five or six years ago, at a Student Venture high school camp
when I heard a guy from California speak.  Chuck Bomar was his name,
or, still is, I guess I should say.  In fact, I just had coffee with him last week.
Strange.

Well, Chuck started telling this story from Mark 7
that I had somehow never heard in all my Christian upbringing.
But you know, I can’t say that I was too surprised, because after a quick
read, there really doesn’t seem to be much there. 
Just another story about a deaf man who receives his hearing.
A mute man begins to speak. Nothing that out of the ordinary for Jesus.
And like I said, I’d heard enough “Jesus stories,” in my time to be thoroughly
unimpressed by a miracle as nominal as this one.

But as Chuck spoke, he pointed out eight little words
that suddenly spun my world on its head.
Just eight little words and the heart of the gospel was revealed.

“and taking him aside from the crowd, privately.”

I know, I know.
So what?
So He took him aside, what’s the big deal?

That’s what I thought anyway, until I got the bigger picture.
You see, to be impressed by that statement,
you need to envision what was going on historically.
You got Jesus coming into town, into the midst of an increasingly excitable crowd.
He’d been doing a lot of miracles at this point, so it’d probably be an understatement
to say that people were getting excited.
Having Jesus come to your town back then, was like going to Cirque de Soleil for us.
Only on a whole nother level.
Feeding 5,000, Walking on water, lepers cleansed; when Jesus showed up,
people were ready for a show.  And so, here He comes, posse of disciples at his side,
and this whole town of people start going crazy at his arrival.
And its right at this moment that a couple random guys get it in their heads
that they should bring their deaf and mute friend to Jesus for some healing.
Not an unusual request at this point I’m sure,
what with his history of the amazing and spectacular,
I’m sure people asking for a miracle was fairly commonplace at this point.
But this is when everything gets stranger than ever,
because Jesus does something altogether
different in response to their request.  With the whole throng of followers pressing
in, one would expect Jesus to either blast them for their lack of faith,
or just zap the guy with a simple statement of healing.
I’m sure He had “bigger fish to fry,” as it were.

But He doesn’t.
Instead, He does the utterly incredible and wonderfully unusual.
And I’m not talking about the healing, although that is indeed supernatural.
What is truly remarkable about this story is how Jesus goes about the healing.

“and taking him aside from the crowd, privately…”

Jesus could have simply looked at the guy.
He could have wiggled his nose or raised his eyebrows,
shoot, He could have just thought it, and the man would have been healed.
But this isn’t what happens.
This isn’t what Jesus does.
If you read the story, what you see is Jesus taking this man aside from the crowd.
The crippled outcast, who,
by that culture’s estimation was nothing more than a burden to society,
is brought into a personal, intimate encounter with God himself.

Seriously, try to picture this.
This guy has absolutely nothing to offer Jesus.
He’s deaf, so He can’t listen to Jesus’ teaching,
and since he’s mute, he certainly can’t
tell Jesus how great He is either.
So, in his mind, he’s got nothing to warrant Christ’s affection.
He’s got nothing to bring, nothing to give,
nothing but poverty to hold up before the King.
And what does Jesus do?
He takes him aside!
He puts his hands on his face, and touches the man’s tongue with his own spit!
Talk about intimate!
I mean, I’m married, and I love my wife dearly,
but I don’t know that I’d even be comfortable doing this with her!
“Come on baby, have some saliva!”
What in the world!?
But Jesus is making a point here.
That’s the only logical conclusion.  Otherwise, it’s just plain gross.
Think about it.  He could have just pronounced healing, but He didn’t.
He could have ignored the man altogether, but He doesn’t.
No.  He draws the man in, touches his face, touches his tongue,
and with a sigh from his chest, He whispers words of healing up to heaven,
“Ephphatha,” which means, “be opened.”
And Mark 7 says that the man began to hear and talk plainly.

And the only question I have left to ask is,
“Have I encountered Christ this way?”
I know for a fact, that for the first twenty years of my life,
I didn’t even know it was an option.
I just thought being a Christian was, “do your duty, be a good kid, say your prayers,
memorize the stories, pay attention to the felt board….”,and that’s it. 
I had no idea that I could actually interact with Christ Himself!
I had no idea that God wasn’t looking for my accomplishments,
but was actually asking me to bring my poverty to Him.
I had no idea that I am the deaf and mute man with nothing to bring but my need!

So now, I’m not asking if I’ve been good enough for God lately,
I’m asking, “do I believe that He’s been good enough for me?”
I’m not asking, “How is my relationship with Christ doing?”
I’m just asking, “Do I have one at all?”
Have I met with Christ today?
Have I let him hold my face in his hands, and stare into my eyes?
Have I let him get so uncomfortably close
that I can smell his breath and taste his spit on my tongue?
Have I felt him sigh over me?
Have I heard him whisper those words up to the Father?
Or am I content just following a belief system?

This is my point kids.

Christianity is not about having a bunch of right answers to tough questions.
Not that its bad to search for them but, quite frankly,
there are some questions you’ll never have answers to anyway.
Christianity was never meant to be a belief system,
it’s meant to be an encounter with a person.
It always has been, and it always will be.

Jesus himself said, “You search the Scriptures because you think
that in them you have eternal life, and it is they that bear witness about me,
yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” -John 5:39,40

So which are you?
One who looks merely for the answers to your questions,
or are you one whose heart longs for the face of his beloved?

“and taking him aside from the crowd, privately….”

Hey friends,
I had the privilege of reading this post by a friend of mine.
She’s in Africa, doing some awesome medical work and had the following
experience in regards to a song called, “Times” on our album.
If you have a few minutes, give it a read.
I was totally blown away.
-Mike

When I walk onto the wards at two in the afternoon and am handed an
assignment sheet bearing only the names of Alfred and Emmanuel, it’s
safe to say that the shift is going to be quiet. Both have been here
forever, both get their vital signs taken once a day and neither really
has any medications or involved procedures to be done in the evenings.
With the exception of a surprise admission (which turned out to be four
for the price of one; family-style hospital trips are all the rage
here) the shift rolled along very much as I expected. I hung out with
my fellow nurse, Sarah. We made folders for photos. I chatted to the
other patients and wandered around with a sleeping baby on my back. It
was quiet.

After dinner, we had all had just about enough of the sleepy pace of
things. We were, in a word, bored, and the hours until ten o’clock
needed to be filled. Somehow.

It turns out that Austin, one of our longer-term patients, is a
musician. His first admission was to reduce the size of his massively
overgrown toes. Things were looking good, but going home in Liberia
means going back to dirt and damp, and dressings just don’t stay clean.
Austin’s foot got infected, and so this second admission was to
amputate one of the toes. I was working on A Ward the day they told him
his toe would have to be taken off, and he was devastated. Austin is a
young guy, and he was pretty convinced he’d never walk again. It was a
rough couple days after surgery for him, with pain and anxiety mixing
to create the most heartbreaking fear.

But Austin has his spirit back now. And last night, he sang and rapped
for me. He laughed his head off while I tried to sing one of his own
compositions along with him. Baby
Girl, you fine-o. Baby Girl, you fine-o. You walkin’ like a stranger,
you talkin’ like an angel, you look like made from cream-o. I say you
fine-o. Once we had gotten that song down pat, he asked me about
what kind of music I like. I searched through my files on the work
computer and came up with Audrey and Mike singing Hallelujah.
He asked me if I had any more songs by ‘that guy,’ and so
I ran down to my room to get my computer.

We ran through a couple Tenth Ave songs fairly quickly until landing on Times.
It stopped him cold. He sat up, leaned forward and listened intently.
“I want for you to give me the words to this one, please.”
Since I hear God speaking to me every time I hear that song, I was only
too happy to oblige. I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote furiously.

When I finished, I handed him the page, started the song again and went
to check on my patients. From the other side of the ward, I heard him
singing. “Your love is over, it’s underneath. It’s inside, it’s in between.
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh.”

We played the song over and over until the battery died and my computer
shut off. At which point he brought the paper over to his friend a few
beds down, a kid who will find out today whether or not he has cancer.
Heads bent close, they studied the words. Another patient, Friend,
stopped by for a visit. “Come see this song, man! Austin called.
It’s a fine gospel song. Brother Mike sing about love.”
So Friend got to hear about this overwhelming love too.

I don’t know if Mike and the guys have any idea how powerful this song
really is. Borkai and Friend and Austin. Cancer and burn scars and
missing toes. In times of confusion and chaos and pain, God’s love over
and underneath it all.

So, before I get on to Hold My Heart, I noticed that a lot of people
commented on this one phrase from Chapter 6, so I thought we would do well
to look at it a bit further. And let me just say, thank you.
To everyone.
Thank you so much for your comments,
and for taking time to read my ramblings.
This has been so encouraging,
and I am so blessed by everyone’s enthusiasm thus far.
May we all believe the gospel more and more.
Here’s Chapter 6 continued…

Could you imagine what that would look like?
A bunch of people that no longer live for God but because of God?
I mean, think about how terribly liberating that is!
You don’t have to earn a thing.
You don’t have to perform for anyone.
You don’t even have to go and win souls for God.
You just need to know that you’re already accepted,
and live like you actually believe it.

Think about it.
A people that praise Him because of who He is.
Doing things because of what He has done.
A church that loves, and forgives, because He first loved them.

Oh how beautiful that would be.

Like my pastor frequently says,
“Don’t show me a church that loves God, show me a church that believes
they’re loved, and I’ll show you a church that God is using.”

But sadly, most of miss this one crucial point.
We go to church and we hear how we need to change the world,
how we need to be better Christians, and how we need to make our lives
count, and have maximum impact and how we need to live with purpose, blah blah blah….
And we buy into it.  We live harder.  We make promises to ourselves. 
We memorize the formulas and purpose in our hearts to do better.
But for what reason?
To be honest, it makes me sad to think about,
how many people have been led astray
by the self-help methods and strategies of man. 
How many people still don’t believe they’re loved because
they just can’t seem to live up to the spiritual bar they’ve erected for themselves!
How rarely do we stop ourselves long enough to ask the most important question?
For what purpose am I living for God?
To be accepted or because I already am?

Friends.  This one question will make all the difference.

If it’s for God and not because of God, two things happen. 
We will either live up to all our trying,
and consequently feel really great about ourselves
and look down on everyone who can’t live like us,
or we fall short of our resolutions and instantly begin to sulk about how we’ll
never be who God wants us to be!
And so it goes.  A vicious cycle of swaggering and sniveling.
We’re up when we succeed, and we’re down when we fail.
Up.  Down. Up.  Down.  On and on and on we go.
Caught up in the halls of introspection, not realizing that the gospel doesn’t
make us better people, it just makes us forget about ourselves!

Kind of like Rocky though, you know?
You ever scene that movie?
Remember when He slurs to Mickey,
“if I just go the distance, then I’ll know I’m not a bum!”
For Him, He had to go the distance.
That’s what it would take to validate Him. To give him worth!
What is it for you?
What are you trying to prove?
What do you need to accomplish in your life that will finally make you feel
like you’re not a bum? 

Here’s the deal.
Romans 12 warns us that there’s a problem with living like that.
It says, “therefore, in view of God’s mercy, present your bodies as
a living sacrifice to God.”
Did you notice the first phrase?
“Therefore, in view of God’s mercy,”
And you know what that’s saying?
It’s saying, before you start trying to live for God, you need to really understand
what’s He done for you.  You need to understand that you are a bum!
You are a complete and total failure but BECAUSE of chapters 1-11,
because of all that Christ has done, in view of his mercy,
in response to his audacious sacrificing love,
you need to go and live like you believe it.

In other words, our doing is a response to what He has already done.

Just look at how lopsided Romans is!
Paul takes 11 chapters to talk about what Christ did on the cross,
and only 5 to talk about our response to it.
And still, I’ll hear a well-intentioned youth pastor get up and preach on this verse,
telling his kids to go and be a living sacrifice, and live for God, and be
the change, etc, etc, etc, and not once will he even mention the cross
and what Christ has done!!!!
And if you do that, I’m sorry youth pastor man, but you totally miss the point.
And furthermore, you actually make people more wicked!
Yeah, that’s right!  You become more wicked when you live for God
and not because God.  That’s what the Bible calls “Pharisees.”
You do all the right things but for all the wrong reasons.
And all the while, feeling more and more justified for being your own Saviour.

Because the only way we can possibly live for God
is if we are living because of God.
And what I mean is, that’s the only way our motivations are purified.
If we’re not living in view of God and in response to Him,
then chances are, we’re just living for the praises of man, for the validation of our performance,
and for the pride of obedience.

Ok Mike.  What on earth is the pride of obedience?
Here’s a simple real-life example.
You’re driving through the drive-thru at your local fast food dining establishment.
Wendy’s.  Starbucks perhaps?
And after a strange, disjointed conversation with the broken voice over the speaker,
you drive up to the window, hoping that they actually got your order right,
and then you’re greeted by a not so friendly, refreshment attendant,
who gives you the wrong change, the wrong order and seems completely
annoyed that you would have the audacity to bring that to their attention. 
So with a surly look and a snatch of the bag, they yell for a change of order over
their shoulder and then slam their little drive thru window thingy closed,
leaving you in your car with a unnecessary guilty conscience and a
brief moment to assess the situation.
And so at this point you lean over to the person next to you, and say,
“Goodness.  Can you believe the attitude with these people? I mean,
I would never act like that.  Totally unprofessional.”
And at just that moment, the little double glass doors swing open,
and said disgruntled employee emerges from his grease cave,
looking at you with that same disheveled expression,
and then with a monotone mumble says,
“Here’s your order. Sorry about that.”
To which you cheerily respond, “Oh, no problem. Thank you so much.”
And off you go. 
All the while, feeling really good about yourself, because you were so nice with your
response, and you didn’t even reach out through your window and strangle them to death. 

Now, some of you might be thinking, “yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
A business is a business right?  People need to do their job. 
Well, I would agree with you, but that’s not the issue. 
The issue is the underlying sense of pride under statements like,
“Can you believe the attitude?” or “I would never…”
You see, both of those sentiments carry with them an undercurrent of condescending
self-esteem that looks down on the individual who doesn’t obey like they do.
I call it, the pride of obedience.  And it comes from older brother types who
expect everyone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and live the way they’re
supposed to.  It comes from people who are living for God, and not because of Him.

However, if you rewind that tape and play it back
with someone living because God,
I think you’d get a much different response.
First of all, the because God person is not
surprised when a person who’s never experienced the love of Christ acts like it.
They wouldn’t exclaim, “Can you believe the attitude?” because quite frankly,
yes.  They can believe it.  If they’ve never known Christ
then what else should they expect?
And they certainly wouldn’t say, “I would never act like that.”
Because they know, that without Christ, they would.
Maybe not right to someone’s face, but definitely in their heart.
And thirdly, they might actually take time to see the person behind the Wendy’s
uniform, and ask, “Man, I wonder if they’ve ever tasted the love of Christ.
I wonder why they’re so disagreeable?”

Pride is a sure fire sign that you’re not living because God.
People who live because God, are marked by an overwhelming generosity and
a propensity for mercy.  They are so aware of they’re need
and what they’ve been given,
that they gladly treat people better than they deserve.
And isn’t that the question for us today.  For me?
Do I treat people better than they deserve?
Or have I lost sight of how God treats me?
Remember, our obedience must be fueled and driven
by awed and grateful love or else it doesn’t mean a thing.
(See 1 Corinthians 13)
Do not live your life for God.
Live your life Because God.

“Therefore, in view of God’s mercy…”

“Come, let us return to the LORD.
    He has torn us to pieces
    but he will heal us;
    he has injured us
    but he will bind up our wounds.”
-Hosea 6:1

Excuse me, what?!!
Who has torn us?
Who has injured us?
The Lord?!!!
Wait a second there Hosea, didn’t you mean to say Satan has torn us?
Or maybe bad people?
You sure that’s not a typo or something?

Personally, I think one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to reconcile in my head
and my heart is this idea that a loving, merciful, compassionate God
would hurt me. 
And not on accident either, but purposefully and willfully.
God will unapologetically tear me into pieces so that He can heal me.
And you.
Strange huh?

And I suppose it isn’t so terribly surprising coming from a prophet who was made
to marry a harlot.  If anyone would know something about being hurt by the
Lord it would be him right?
I don’t know if you know the story, but
I mean, just put yourself in his place for a second.
There you are.  The man.  The dude.  You’re the prophet over all of Israel, and
you’ve been keeping yourself pure, praying every day for the woman that God will
give to you and then He finally speaks, but its not at all what you were hoping for.

God: “Hosea.”
Hosea: “Yeah Lord?”
God: “It’s time.”
Hosea: “Ahhhh Yeaaahhh!  That’s what I was hoping you were gonna say.
          Time for a wife right Lord?”
God: “Yes Hosea, it’s time for a wife.”
Hosea: “Ooohh, I can’t wait!!!  Just tell me though God, is she hot and holy?
          Cuz you know, I’ve been keeping myself pure, and I just know you’re gonna
          reward me with a wife that’s hot and holy.  That’s all I’m asking for because,
          hey, that’s what I deserve right?”
God: “Well, not exactly.  I don’t think she’s quite what you had in mind.”
Hosea: “Wait, what?  .....Oh… I see!  She’s even hotter and holier than I thought!
          Oh yeah Lord, I know how you work!
God: “Well, no.”
Hosea: “What you mean, no?”
God: “Hosea, I don’t know how to tell you this, well, of course I know how to tell you this,
        I’m God, it’s just, well….she’s a prostitute.”
Hosea: “prosti-what?”
God: “Prostitute.  Whore.  Lady of the Night.”
Hosea: No, no, I know what it is, but a PROSTITUTE!!!
God: Yeah, I know that’s not what you were planning, but its what I was planning, so you’re
      gonna marry her.
Hosea: “I’m gonna do what?”
God: “you’re gonna marry her, but then of course, she’ll cheat on you, and sell herself
      so you’ll have to go buy her back.”
Hosea: “Go what?”
      “Yeah, you’re going to forgive her and buy her back and when she cheats on you again
      and has children with other lovers you’re going to love them and take her back again.”
Hosea: “Come again?”
God: “you’re going to love her kids and take her back.”

Long awkward silence

Hosea: “What’s her name?”
God: “Gomer.”
Hosea: “Oh Come on!!!”

Now I apologize if you’re name is Gomer, but you do have to admit,
it’s a rather unfortunate name, and an even more unfortunate situation.
But the Bible records that it did happen.
Maybe not exactly like that, but God did tell Hosea to marry an adulterous wife.
And the reason that the Lord supplies in Hosea 3
Is that their marriage was to show us how he loves his people. 
He loves his people like an adulterous wife.

And the story is so insanely beautiful when you see it from that angle,
but when you look at it from Hosea’s angle it’s just plain crazy.
Think about what you’d say if your pastor got up in front of the congregation and
announced that he was about to marry a whore.  What would your response be?
Now, I’m not suggesting that every one go out and marry someone from the local
street corner, but I am saying that it is evident that God will do whatever He has to do
to bring you to a place where all you want is Him.

He’ll break you, He’ll hurt you, He’ll ruin your plans, and He’ll tear you into pieces,
and He’ll do it all out of a perfect holy love. 
And look, I know that sounds crazy, but think about it for a moment.
A lot of people want to use God to give them something other than Himself.
If we’re honest, we’ll admit that we all do it on some level.
For instance, we don’t have sex until we’re married, because then God owes us a virgin.
We give 10% of our income to a church, because then God owes us prosperity and wealth.
We pray and pray and pray, and then God owes it to us to answer and give us what we want.
And in all those cases, Jesus is no longer the end, but simply a means to something else.

You’ve got to see that in Hosea’s case, or perhaps in the case
of that one friend of yours who thinks marriage is the goal of their existence. 
Don’t laugh.  It might be you.
But if you think about it, It would actually be unloving of God to go
and make our marriage perfect and make that person fulfill our every hope and dream. 
Why?
Because that person will die.
That marriage will end, and if your whole life and existence and joy depends on another
human being, you will inevitably be in for heartache. 
Just read the Twilight series (it’s true.  I’ve read it, though I’m not proud of it)
and see how the heroine Bella, how her entire life falls apart when her vampire
lover leaves her.  Put simply, If our joy rests entirely upon human love or
vampire love, or any other kind of earthly love for that matter,
then one day, our joy will be destroyed.
Is this making sense?

Of course, marriage is just one example.
Money. Security.  Fame.  Obedience.  Sex.  Drugs.  Worship Music.
If our hope is set in anything but the living person of Christ, then we’re just setting ourselves
up for failure.  And so God, in his infinite and everlasting love, will do whatever He has to do
to break, bend and conform his people’s hearts to Him.
He will no longer be the means to some other end, but the end Himself.
Like a surgeon who has to cut you open,
so God must tear us apart to create in us a new heart.
A heart that is obsessed with Him alone.
But unlike a doctor, He doesn’t just use a knife.  He uses the most bizarre people,
circumstances, and tragedies to change our hearts until they only treasure Him.

He will break us down.
And it will be painful, scary, and altogether beautiful.
Friends, if the Lord is tearing down your world today,
if all the walls on your so carefully constructed plans are caving in on themselves,
then ask Him in faith, God, are you my treasure?
And if you find the answer is no, then ask Him to bring it on.
Break out the scalpel.  Tear down the walls.  Let loose the storms.
Ask Him to do whatever He has to do, until you can proclaim with the psalmist,
“Whom have in heaven but you,
and earth has nothing I desire besides you.”
(Psalm 73)

All this world is fading away anyway right?
Then take heart.
This life is not about succeeding.
It’s not about changing the world.
It’s not about living with purpose, or leaving a legacy
or making the maximum impact with your life.
It’s actually not even about living your life for God.
Did you hear me?
Don’t live your life for God.

Live your life because God.

Because He has loved us, redeemed us, and because He is all that our hearts are longing for.
It’s no longer about what you do with your life at all, because He is your life.
May He do whatever it takes to open our eyes to see that.
He is the means and He is the end.  And everything in between is from his hand.
It can be terrifying at times, I know, but its worth it.
Believe me, and I guess more importantly believe Him.
It’s worth it.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing
with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
-Romans 8:18

““Come, let us return to the LORD.
    He has torn us to pieces
    but he will heal us;
    he has injured us
    but he will bind up our wounds.

2 After two days he will revive us;
    on the third day he will restore us,
    that we may live in his presence.

3 Let us acknowledge the LORD;
    let us press on to acknowledge him.
    As surely as the sun rises,
    he will appear;
    he will come to us like the winter rains,
    like the spring rains that water the earth.”
-Hosea 6:1-3

“And avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.”
-Fydor Doystoevsky, (the Brothers Karamazov)

Today, this single phrase has been beating in my head like a war drum.
On the battlefield of my mind, and in the fragile chaos of my machine-like heart,
this simple line has been echoing on.
Reverberating off the walls of war-torn streets,
I can faintly here the Roman calvary choirs singing.
And for me, it sounds a lot like freedom.
This one thought, this shining flickering light is my lighthouse in a thundering sea.
Maybe not you, but I for one have been rather sick and tired of myself as of late.
And more specifically, I’m tired of the lies that I so blindly believe.
I know it may sound melodramatic, but if my heart is where my treasure is
then I’m tired of this love affair I’ve made with doubt and
the seemingly never-ending struggle in my heart.
I want you to get it.  I want you to understand that if you struggle with the answers
that you’re not alone.  But I also want you to know the root, the cause,
and the fight that’s in between.

Lies
. There are lies everywhere.
Blinking neon lights, and sweetly penned secrets.
A movie.  A sermon.  A Day after thanksgiving sale.
How quickly we forget that the things we hear and see are making an impression.
Like an empty place in the bed where a body used to lay,
they’re wrapped up in the sheets, but they don’t need the rest.
They can come without warning and talk for hours without a sound.
Lies tell the future, insist on interpreting the past,
and seem to always keep us paralyzed to the present.
They can fill a closet with skeletons and invite monsters under the bed.
Lies are strangers in friends clothing and fill your house when you’re alone.

Fears.

The inevitable, unstoppable result of listening to something other than the truth.
Cousins, sisters, brothers perhaps?  I’m not exactly sure the relation
but I know that its a tie that binds.
Feed one, and you nourish the other.
Nurture a lie, and watch the panic grow.
Forget the truth and welcome anxiety.
Give up on hope, and welcome misery with open arms.

So then it should comes as no surprise
that the most recurrent command in all the Bible is this:
“Do not be afraid.”
Easy enough right?
Well maybe it could be,
but I don’t think we’ll ever live free of fear as long as fear itself is our problem.
Fydor reminds me.  Fear is the consequence of a lie,
Which means, if I find in myself some irrisistible anxiety, chances are,
I’ve welcomed a lie into my heart.
And maybe I didn’t exactly welcome it. 
Maybe I just forgot to close the door on some memory
or I left the window cracked, but whatever the reason,
if the lie has crept in somewhere,
and has made its home where my faith has worn through,
I must recognize it for what it is.

It should also come as no surprise then, that the work of God is belief.
“This is the work of God, that you believe in the one whom He has sent.”
Or as Jon Foreman sang, “belief over misery.”
Do we understand that fear isn’t something that we are meant to live with?
Do we have any idea how free we would be if we could just believe?
And trust me, I know.  It’s not easy.
In fact, its the hardest work any of else will ever have to do,
but its the war we were meant for.
Since we’re grafted into Israel as Romans says,
that means we’re brought in to “wrestle with God,”
for that is exactly what Israel means.
So we fight to rest. 
We work to stop working. 
We war for peace.
We run to stand still.
Life is waiting for the ones who lose control.
“taking captive every thought, and making it obedient to Christ Jesus.”
Take captive?
Yeah.
Take it freaking captive.
Smack that lie in the mouth and slaughter it with truth.

Here’s some fights I’ve had so far.
Lie: “you’re too screwed up for God to love you anymore.”
Reliation: “God proves his love, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Lie: “I’ve made too many poor choices.  I’ve missed God’s will for my life.”
Truth: “Even what you meant for evil, God meant for good.” (Gen 50:20)
“God works all things together for good for those who love God and who have been called”
Lie: “Someone might break in and kill me.”
Word: “Do not fear those who can kill the body and after that can do no more.
Fear him who after killing the body has the power to throw you into hell.” (Luke 12:4,5)
Lie: “I’m not good enough”
Truth: “In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us….” (I John 4:10)
Lie: “I’m awesome.  God owes me.”
Truth: “God is not served by men’s hands as if He needed anything…” (Acts 17:25)
Lie: OMG.  Can you believe this guy?  What a jerk!
Truth:  “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but with sober judgement,
according the measure of faith God has given you.” (Romans 12:3)
Lie: “Sex will give me the pleasure I’m looking for.”
Truth: “I have no good thing apart from you.”  (Psalm 16:2)
“In His presence there is the fullness of joy, at his right hand are pleasures forever.”
(Psalm 16:11)
Lie: “God’s command is going to ruin your good time.”
Truth: “The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come to give you life,
and life more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Lie: “I don’t have the strength to say no to this!”
Truth: “if anyone is in Christ He is a new creation.” (2 Cor 5:17)
        “and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” (I Cor 10:13)

The war drum goes on.
It never ends,
it doesn’t stop.
And so avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.
Belief is a fight.  Work at it with all the power that God supplies.