Just what's been on my mind...

So this book that I have been reading really has been rocking my world. I am not completely finished with it, but thus far Francis Chan’s “Crazy Love” has challenged me to put to action what it is I say I believe. Far to often in my walk with Christ I find myself trying to perform or make myself better so that in some sense I can be justified before God. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know that it is not what I do that merits my salvation, it is only by faith that I am saved. But for some reason I still find myself at times feeling like I need to do this or that because it is what I am suppose to do. For example, I may go a couple of days without picking up my Bible, maybe even without acknowledging God exists. I may not go to church on the proper day, or maybe I haven’t been to church at all the whole past month. For some reason there tends to be this guilty strand that starts to creep in my head that tells me I need to do better at these things. I mean as a Christian this is the bare essentials. Right? It is so sad to think that this is my state of mind so often. I boil down my relationship with God to something that I do rather than something I am.

Maybe that last statement wasn’t so clear, so let me try and explain. I have been married for almost 6 years now. One thing that I have come to notice is that marriage changes who I am. I am a changed man. In fact the Bible tells me that I am joined with my wife and that we are one flesh. My desires have changed. No longer do I desire to only meet my needs and do only what pleases me, but rather I am constantly looking to find ways to please my wife and meet her needs. My focus has changed. My wife has in a sense stolen my focus… taken it off of me and put it on her. Do I find this as taxing or tiring? No, of course not. This is what happens when you are in love.

As many of you know, I am away from my family quite a bit these days. My wife and I communicate primarily by phone when I am away. What if I were to just not call her for an entire trip. What would that communicate to my wife? Or what if I called her because it was what I had to do? “Hey honey… just calling because I have to. Everything ok?” Wow… I could only imagine how my wife would feel. Unloved to say the least. Instead what if I couldn’t wait to talk to her. In fact I called her so much ours ears began to hurt from the phone. At times we would be on the phone not even saying anything, but we just want to be with each other so we don’t hang up. This is a picture of what I think our relationship with Christ should be like.

The love that I have for Christ is what should propel me to act. When I don’t spend time with Him it should hurt and feel like something is missing. I should desire to be with Him, because I know that in Him is the fullness of joy. No longer should this life be about me, but rather about Him. He should consume my thoughts. If my life is spent loving Him then everything else should follow naturally. In fact, it should change me to a point that I end up doing crazy things like loving other people as he has loved me. My thoughts should be so fixed on the day that I finally see Him, that the things of this world should fade away. I’d be giving my time, money, and resources away as if they were not mine to begin with. It’s crazy I know, but people who are in love do crazy things.

I know this may not be a mind blowing concept, to actually live like we are in love with Christ, but it really has been changing the way I think and act recently. Just thought I would share… I am sure I will have more to talk about as I continue to read. Until then, farewell.