God Feels

When I think about God,
I have trouble remembering that He has feelings.
Is that a strange thing to say?

I mean, I know that He “loves” me,
and that He “hates” evil,
and I am aware, intellectually,
that He is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger,
and abounding in love,
but more often than not,
I forget that He has feelings.

I guess I really shouldn’t forget that,
considering He is the one who thought up
poetry and waterfalls and stand-up comedy,
but I do. Or hopefully I can say, I did.

Yesterday I was sitting in a fairly large field in Oklahoma,
listening, waiting, reading…
(calling my brother because it was his birthday)
and I stumbled upon a verse in Ezekiel.
Now, Ezekiel probably isn’t standard issue reading for
most, and with good reason.
There’s a bunch of crazy stuff going on in there.
God appears.
God’s on fire.
Angels are flying about on monster trucks with living wheels.
Ezekiel has to lay on his side for a year.
Ezekiel has to cook his food on “the poopie.”
God sends armies to kill and capture “his people…”
Like I said before, it’s a crazy time.
Not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.

But as I was reading in this field, somewhere in middle America,
reading through the chaos and mayhem in the first six chapters of the book of Ezekiel,
I came upon the following words,

“then those of you who escape will remember me among the nations
where they are carried captive, how I have been broken over their whoring heart
that has departed from me and over their eyes that go whoring after their idols.”
-Ezekiel 6:9

Now, before you start getting fired up that God uses the word “whoring”
just think about this simple statement.
“I have been broken over their whoring heart.”

It may not seem like a big deal to you I guess,
sitting at your computer, reading some “blog”
on some band’s myspace,
and hearing that God is “broken,”
but yesterday, it was a huge deal to me.

To think that the God of the universe.
The God who created mountains and micro-biology,
who made duck-billed platypuses and invented romance,
the God who spoke light from darkness,
and can speak every one of earth’s unending languages,
spoke these words about me.
About us.

“I have been broken over their whoring heart.”

Hmm.
I don’t even know how to process that.
To think that this huge God who has billions of other
things to worry about, billions of other people to care about,
actually thinks about me. And not only that,
but that He is hurt when I want to spend time with someone else.

You know that’s what this is saying don’t you?
It’s saying that He is heart-broken when we run to other lovers.
God is jealous.
God hurts.
He…feels.
And not only that,
but that He feels, “broken,”
over you.
Over me.

And hopefully that changes things.
It changes how i view Him.
It changes how I view Him viewing me.
It changes how I view my sin.

Donald Miller once said,
“it’s a profoundly different thing to break a rule,
than it is to cheat on a lover.”
Can that really be true?
Can it really be that God is not just Lord and King and Ruler over everything,
but that He’s a jealous lover who hurts when I run away?

Man,
I hope this sticks.
I hope this registers.
God feels,
May we feel the weight of this.

Peace Friends,